Our minds as moms can easily fill with worry. We fear we’ve done or are doing something wrong, will forget to do something, have forgotten to do something—the list goes on. We tend to blame ourselves for everything bad that happens, thinking if we were just a better mom, it wouldn’t have.
As I battled a worry invasion the other night and begged God for help, I realized I was trying to control things I couldn’t. I thought somehow my actions could keep my child healthy/safe, when in reality, I can’t control that. Did I not believe God was big enough to truly and completely work all things for good…including if my child got sick or I inadvertently made a silly decision?
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 (ESV)
You see, we all are going to make mistakes. We live in a fallen universe, and we are fallen moms. We should repent of any sin (pride, selfishness, etc.), but instead we often beat ourselves up for simply making a decision that led to a bad outcome. Don’t we believe God is our Shepherd, capable of watching over even our faulty decisions and using them for good? So what if in hindsight we realize a different decision in a situation might have prevented an issue; not realizing that at the time wasn’t sin (and even if we did have sin in our heart, Jesus already paid for that and is big enough to cover it too). We have to trust that God is bigger than our limited knowledge and shortcomings. He could have brought other information to light and changed our decision if He chose. He could have prevented the bad outcome despite our decision if He desired. He’s going to work what He allowed for good.
My mind went back to Psalm 4:8—only God could keep my child (and me) safe. Yes, I should be prudent and do what God showed me to do, but that was very different than taking on myself the responsibility for controlling the outcomes. I could lie down and sleep—rest–knowing the God who holds the galaxies watches over me…and my child.
“In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.” Psalm 4:8 (ESV)
Wash the dishes, take out the trash, finish an email—Amanda had more to do in life than there were hours left to do them. She tried to fall asleep, but sleep just wouldn’t come.
I’m a sinner saved by grace through Jesus Christ. I’m also a writer—I’ve been writing ever since I could hold a pen. I… 
