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Parenting Moment: A Blueprint for Parenting?

blueprint

Have you ever wished your child came with a step-by-step blueprint? One that included navigating through the ever-changing complexities of growing up, from the wordless cries of infancy to the hormone-driven reactions of middle and high school?

But God doesn’t give us a blueprint…or does He?

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 (ESV)

Wait a minute--every good work would include parenting! God has given us the “blueprint,” so to speak, for raising our children in the Scriptures–the Bible.

Now I know, the Bible doesn’t say exactly what to do with that baby who won’t go to sleep or that middle schooler who’s determined not to do his schoolwork. But it tells us what we need to walk through these stages in a righteous way. It tells us to pray and “give thanks” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 ESV). It tells us that, “A soft answer turns away wrath,
 but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1 ESV). It encourages wise counsel (Proverbs 24:6), and tells us we need others (Hebrews 10:24-25). It bids us give Jesus, our Great High Priest who understands (Hebrews 4:14-16), our cares (1 Peter 5:7).

It offers us Jesus, and encourages us to let Him use the “various trials” (James 1:2) in our lives (including parenting!) to grow us. As we look at Jesus and trust what He has revealed in His Word, not our own understanding, He promises to lead and guide us.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV)

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Short Story: Read the Instructions

Blender

BlenderSusie felt completely overwhelmed. She had so much to do…and she didn’t feel good on top of it. She decided to make herself a smoothie, hopeful it would give her some energy.

She’d never used her new blender, but that was okay. She was confident she could figure it out. She threw her ingredients inside, not stopping to read the instructions or the warning label on the top of the blender. She was sure she knew how to use a blender.

Now to put it into the glass. She took the lid off and poured, trying to get all of the blended mixture into her glass…

Sharp pain made Susie cry out. The blades of this blender had not stayed in the machine like Susie was used to–instead, they had fallen on her, cutting her finger badly in the process.

After a trip to urgent care for stitches, Susie went home and did what she should have done from the beginning: read the warning label. Sure enough, it warned her about those blades. Oh, she should never have just charged forward on her own understanding without reading that label!

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6 (KJV)

“Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” Psalm 119:105 (KJV)

 

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Story: Carrying Extra Weight

“Hey, Jackson, what are you doing with all that weight on your shoulders?” Ethan asked, surprised to see his friend with several pounds of weight tied to his shoulders.

Jackson looked up, attempted to straighten himself, and then slumped back from the burden of the weights. “Hi, Jackson. I’m doing fine—just a little discouraged.”

“Well I would be too if I insisted on walking around with all that weight on my shoulders,” Ethan declared. “I ask again, why are you carrying all of that?”

“All of what?” Jackson asked, mystified.

“All that weight—don’t you feel it?” Ethan asked.

Jackson put his hand on the weights around his neck, sudden understanding dawning. Was that why everything had been such a chore? “I…uh-” Jackson stammered, unsure what to say.

“You are carrying around weights for no reason,” Ethan finished for him. “How did it happen?”

Jackson tried to remember. “Well, I think I just started picking up the weights as I came across them. I was trying to help others by doing so, but it seemed the more I picked up, the less I could help anyone. To be honest, Ethan, I’ve been having a hard time thinking or functioning. Everything has seemed so tiring. Just existing has been a drudgery.”

“And no wonder! You’ve been trying to do it all with all those weights. You can’t help anyone while carrying those around—they’ll just keep you from being useful.”


Thought to Ponder: Are we carrying weights—worries and burdens—about ourselves, others, our society? It doesn’t help anyone to carry those worries—we have to give them to the Lord so we can walk in freedom and joy and truly be able to help others.

“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

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Story: Job Usurping

Jeremy wanted desperately to be helpful. In fact, he had given up several opportunities in order to stay home and help his father. But now Jeremy was incredibly frustrated. It felt as if he wasn’t accomplishing anything. Sure, he had a few small tasks to do, but they were nothing special. He wanted to make a difference. He wanted to do something great. And he resented all the circumstances that kept preventing him from fulfilling any of his plans.

As Jeremy entered the barn one day, he stopped short as he heard his brother singing while he worked. Jeremy sighed to himself. He remembered the day when he used to sing while he worked too. What had happened to his joy?

He knew what had happened. Previously, he’d chosen to rejoice, knowing that his father was giving him his daily assignments and had the future all in control. He’d rejoiced in his father’s love and care. But lately—although he never would have acknowledged or worded it this way—he’d begun to doubt his father’s care. He knew that was a pretty foolish thing to do. His father was incredibly wise and smart…and totally loving. Jeremy knew that. Yes, he knew it—but would he live as if he knew it?

Jeremy didn’t quite see how to, but he knew the first step was to repent and start replacing his complaints with praise. Whenever the complaints would fill his mind, he began choosing to say a praise instead. He also began reminding himself of his father’s character and love—and of how faithful his father had always been. Slowly but surely, the cloud began to lift from his heart and a smile crept back once again. Once more, he was content to let his father direct his steps, even if that plan didn’t seem very special at the moment.

~~~~~~~

“Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
~~~~~~~

Jeremy knew the fields needed planted soon. His mind kept racing to try to figure out what he should plant where. Should they grow potatoes or corn in the backfield? Should they order from Seeds Express or Seeds Forever? How many tomatoes should they plant? The list of decisions went on, and with each additional one, the tension in Jeremy’s heart grew that much bigger. He finally couldn’t stand it any longer. He hurriedly sought out his father.

Jeremy’s father was waiting for him and, as always, listened lovingly as Jeremy poured out his list of decisions. “You know, Jeremy, I’ve already made all those decisions.”

Jeremy looked up in surprise. “You have?”

Jeremy’s father nodded. “A looong time ago. Jeremy, I’ll tell you what to order when. Just seek me and ask what you need to do and be about what I tell you to do.”

Those words lifted a huge weight from Jeremy’s shoulders. No wonder he’d felt so exhausted lately—he’d been trying to do his father’s job! Now how silly was that? His father had it all under control.

~~~~~~~
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10
~~~~~~~

“Benjamin, that’s not how you feed the pigs. Daniel, would you please try to pay attention to the instructions I printed on how to milk a cow?”

Jeremy’s patience was completely exhausted with his brothers. He wanted desperately for each of his brothers to do a good job—for his father, of course!

And the neighbors—now they were a whole other story. Jeremy wanted them to get to know his father too—he knew that was what his father wanted. But sometimes it felt quite impossible to convince any of them to so much as talk with his father.

Once again, Jeremy was discouraged. And once again, he sought out his father.

His father explained, “My dear son, you’re taking on my job again.”

Jeremy looked at him in surprise. “I am?”

His father nodded. “It’s my job to train your brothers and deal with them if they’re not getting it—it’s just yours to faithfully teach them what I tell you. And it’s my job to get the neighbors to talk to me—it’s just yours to faithfully present to them the truths I gave you to share with them. You can’t control any outcomes; that’s my job. All you can do is faithfully obey what I tell you.”

Once again, a load fell from Jeremy’s shoulders. Oh, when would he learn to stop trying to take over his father’s job!

“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6