Parenting Moment: Stop Comparing

That mom has it all figured out. Look at how amazingly her house is put together and her children behave! Look at all she’s doing, while I struggle just to keep up with the laundry.

I never realized how intense and real the doubts and insecurities of motherhood would be until I became one. It seems there’s always that nagging voice in the back of our heads telling us what we’re doing wrong–assuring us we’re ruining our children. Then we look at others, and we find ourselves comparing and thinking even more about how much we’re failing.

Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding. 2 Corinthians 10:12 (ESV) 

As a mom podcast recently reminded me of, though, we don’t see the whole picture. We don’t see the areas we’re investing more time in that other moms don’t. We don’t see other moms’ struggles.

God has made each person and situation so unique! We’re not in a competition; we’re in an army, fighting together against sin and Satan. God’s wired us all differently to raise children that will be different positions in that army. We’re different positions in that army.

We’d be wise to stop comparing our home with others and instead hold it up to God’s Word. Is He the center of our home? Are we listening to Him? Are we walking according to His Word and by His Spirit? If so, then it is okay if we never got around to decorating that wall or haven’t done the incredible science projects our friends have. We’re accountable to run the race set before us, not their race. To do that, we need to look to Jesus, not everyone around us. With our eyes on Him, we can encourage one another forward, rejoicing in the unique way we’re wired and the different stories God is writing in our lives.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:1-2 (ESV)